Há sempre uma ou outra palavra que se acanha. Uma era pode ser sempre um pouco mais negra do que o passado e podes prever um futuro com fim de novela barata. Quando a noite acaba morrem os "ses", mesmo assim aninhas o pouco que resta de ti no fechar da cortina, no shut down a que obrigas a tua mente. Acredites ou não, não existe um sentido em tudo.
Because I do not hope to turn again Because I do not hope Because I do not hope to turn Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope I no longer strive to strive towards such things (Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?) Why should I mourn The vanished power of the usual reign?
Because I do not hope to know The infirm glory of the positive hour Because I do not think Because I know I shall not know The one veritable transitory power Because I cannot drink There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is nothing again
Because I know that time is always time And place is always and only place And what is actual is actual only for one time And only for one place I rejoice that things are as they are and I renounce the blessèd face And renounce the voice Because I cannot hope to turn again Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something Upon which to rejoice
And pray to God to have mercy upon us And pray that I may forget These matters that with myself I too much discuss Too much explain Because I do not hope to turn again Let these words answer For what is done, not to be done again May the judgement not be too heavy upon us
Because these wings are no longer wings to fly But merely vans to beat the air The air which is now thoroughly small and dry Smaller and dryer than the will Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still.
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
II
Lady, three white leopards sat under a juniper-tree In the cool of the day, having fed to sateity On my legs my heart my liver and that which had been contained In the hollow round of my skull. And God said Shall these bones live? shall these Bones live? And that which had been contained In the bones (which were already dry) said chirping: Because of the goodness of this Lady And because of her loveliness, and because She honours the Virgin in meditation, We shine with brightness. And I who am here dissembled Proffer my deeds to oblivion, and my love To the posterity of the desert and the fruit of the gourd. It is this which recovers My guts the strings of my eyes and the indigestible portions Which the leopards reject. The Lady is withdrawn In a white gown, to contemplation, in a white gown. Let the whiteness of bones atone to forgetfulness. There is no life in them. As I am forgotten And would be forgotten, so I would forget Thus devoted, concentrated in purpose. And God said Prophesy to the wind, to the wind only for only The wind will listen. And the bones sang chirping With the burden of the grasshopper, saying
Lady of silences Calm and distressed Torn and most whole Rose of memory Rose of forgetfulness Exhausted and life-giving Worried reposeful The single Rose Is now the Garden Where all loves end Terminate torment Of love unsatisfied The greater torment Of love satisfied End of the endless Journey to no end Conclusion of all that Is inconclusible Speech without word and Word of no speech Grace to the Mother For the Garden Where all love ends.
Under a juniper-tree the bones sang, scattered and shining We are glad to be scattered, we did little good to each other, Under a tree in the cool of day, with the blessing of sand, Forgetting themselves and each other, united In the quiet of the desert. This is the land which ye Shall divide by lot. And neither division nor unity Matters. This is the land. We have our inheritance.
III
At the first turning of the second stair I turned and saw below The same shape twisted on the banister Under the vapour in the fetid air Struggling with the devil of the stairs who wears The deceitul face of hope and of despair.
At the second turning of the second stair I left them twisting, turning below; There were no more faces and the stair was dark, Damp, jaggèd, like an old man's mouth drivelling, beyond repair, Or the toothed gullet of an agèd shark.
At the first turning of the third stair Was a slotted window bellied like the figs's fruit And beyond the hawthorn blossom and a pasture scene The broadbacked figure drest in blue and green Enchanted the maytime with an antique flute. Blown hair is sweet, brown hair over the mouth blown, Lilac and brown hair; Distraction, music of the flute, stops and steps of the mind over the third stair, Fading, fading; strength beyond hope and despair Climbing the third stair.
Lord, I am not worthy Lord, I am not worthy
but speak the word only.
IV
Who walked between the violet and the violet Whe walked between The various ranks of varied green Going in white and blue, in Mary's colour, Talking of trivial things In ignorance and knowledge of eternal dolour Who moved among the others as they walked, Who then made strong the fountains and made fresh the springs
Made cool the dry rock and made firm the sand In blue of larkspur, blue of Mary's colour, Sovegna vos
Here are the years that walk between, bearing Away the fiddles and the flutes, restoring One who moves in the time between sleep and waking, wearing
White light folded, sheathing about her, folded. The new years walk, restoring Through a bright cloud of tears, the years, restoring With a new verse the ancient rhyme. Redeem The time. Redeem The unread vision in the higher dream While jewelled unicorns draw by the gilded hearse.
The silent sister veiled in white and blue Between the yews, behind the garden god, Whose flute is breathless, bent her head and signed but spoke no word
But the fountain sprang up and the bird sang down Redeem the time, redeem the dream The token of the word unheard, unspoken
Till the wind shake a thousand whispers from the yew
And after this our exile
V
If the lost word is lost, if the spent word is spent If the unheard, unspoken Word is unspoken, unheard; Still is the unspoken word, the Word unheard, The Word without a word, the Word within The world and for the world; And the light shone in darkness and Against the Word the unstilled world still whirled About the centre of the silent Word.
O my people, what have I done unto thee.
Where shall the word be found, where will the word Resound? Not here, there is not enough silence Not on the sea or on the islands, not On the mainland, in the desert or the rain land, For those who walk in darkness Both in the day time and in the night time The right time and the right place are not here No place of grace for those who avoid the face No time to rejoice for those who walk among noise and deny the voice
Will the veiled sister pray for Those who walk in darkness, who chose thee and oppose thee, Those who are torn on the horn between season and season, time and time, between Hour and hour, word and word, power and power, those who wait In darkness? Will the veiled sister pray For children at the gate Who will not go away and cannot pray: Pray for those who chose and oppose
O my people, what have I done unto thee.
Will the veiled sister between the slender Yew trees pray for those who offend her And are terrified and cannot surrender And affirm before the world and deny between the rocks In the last desert before the last blue rocks The desert in the garden the garden in the desert Of drouth, spitting from the mouth the withered apple-seed.
O my people.
VI
Although I do not hope to turn again Although I do not hope Although I do not hope to turn
Wavering between the profit and the loss In this brief transit where the dreams cross The dreamcrossed twilight between birth and dying (Bless me father) though I do not wish to wish these things From the wide window towards the granite shore The white sails still fly seaward, seaward flying Unbroken wings
And the lost heart stiffens and rejoices In the lost lilac and the lost sea voices And the weak spirit quickens to rebel For the bent golden-rod and the lost sea smell Quickens to recover The cry of quail and the whirling plover And the blind eye creates The empty forms between the ivory gates And smell renews the salt savour of the sandy earth
This is the time of tension between dying and birth The place of solitude where three dreams cross Between blue rocks But when the voices shaken from the yew-tree drift away Let the other yew be shaken and reply.
Blessèd sister, holy mother, spirit of the fountain, spirit of the garden, Suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still Even among these rocks, Our peace in His will And even among these rocks Sister, mother And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea, Suffer me not to be separated
A ouvir Pulled Under At 2000 Metres A Second - Anathema
mercoledì 14 maggio 2008
Não vou mentir... escorrem-me as lágrimas em catadupa. Ainda assim não encontro forma de me explicar o que aconteceu, como estou, se sinto... alguma coisa.
Passado todo este tempo. É assim tanto tempo? É passado?
«O que vem ao mundo para não perturbar nada não merece nem consideração nem paciência.» René Char
E eu condeno-te a noites insones! A uma mente e coração asfixiado por dúvidas, a notas tocadas pelos dedos em sangue na busca de uma perfeição que sabes longe de ser alcançada. Condeno-te à constante lembrança de todas as promessas que quebraste e a uma vida de insatisfação pela própria vida que não comandas. Amaldiçoo-te os sorrisos com o passado que odiavas e profetizo-te o retorno a uma vivência vulgar de ser humano medíocre num cativeiro de mãos envelhecidas pela inércia e pela ausência de coragem. Que todos os sentires fiquem sempre à distância da tua mão, sem nunca os conseguires alcançares. Que o mundo te invada, rodeie mas não permaneça, que a tua casa seja a imagem da minha pele cicatrizada da tua passagem por mim enquanto eu renasço livre para caminhar neste mundo, ainda que só de ti. Que o meu nome, eterna lembrança, seja o fosso que se abre biblicamente no teu leito e que dos teus olhos vertam as lágrimas que tenho engolido. Por último, no único segundo em que acreditarás finalmente descansar prometo-te que os teus olhos não se fecharão perante as minhas mãos abertas sobre a tua face e das linhas que tantas vezes beijaste, onde todos os teus segredos estão guardados, inflamar-se-ão as palavras para mergulharem de novo na tua garganta, para te esventrar de tudo o que de nós guardaste e aí, no teu último expirar inclinar-me-ei sobre ti para da tua boca resgatar o meu nome. Partirás. Absolutamente sozinho.
A ouvir Songs Of Darkness, Words Of Light - My Dying Bride
Recordo a estrada coberta de cinza que se abria vertiginosamente à minha frente enquanto, sem que eu soubesse, os mares se afastavam para que pudesses caminhar.
Acelera mais um pouco, peço-te.
Põe a música mais alta e cala tudo o que não quero ouvir... Cala a minha voz e o meu coração que agora me bloqueiam o raciocínio e me aborrecem o olhar.
Cala-te tu também e vai até onde o mundo acaba.
"Onde queres ir? Gostava de ver o mar..."
Não quero ver o mar! Leva-me para longe, para onde queiras ir... Mas não para perto do mar.
Leva-me ao fim do mundo, pede-te a voz dentro da minha cabeça.
Fecho os olhos e encolho-me ao teu lado. Sei que estás a olhar para mim, julgas que durmo, que esqueci que atrás de nós se desenrola a serpente, que não lhe ouço o sibilar doloroso cada vez que o sol teima furar o nevoeiro.
Não quero saber! Só quero o silêncio, a música e que obedeças quando te digo que quero que me leves até ao fim do mundo. Não quero saber do veneno que escorre em jeito de poema pelas presas da serpente e finjo ignorar que foram as tuas mãos que me acordaram da serenidade da noite, porque na verdade ignoro.
Não páres nesta estrada em que nada existe, pois todos os caminhos que percorrerei terão início aqui e não quero.
Penso.
Peço-te.
"Posso ler-vos um poema ?" sibila a serpente. Olho para trás e de novo volto-me para ti, sem te ver, e por esta vez o ar enche-se de palavras, de aventuras parisienses, risos e medo. Medo dos sonhos em que os altares se incendeiam, medo da voz que me grita: A noite é eterna! enquanto desenlaço a corda à volta dos pulsos, medo por simplesmente sentir medo das horas que virão.
Ah! vous voulez savoir pourquoi je vous hais aujourd’hui. Il vous sera sans doute moins facile de le comprendre qu’à moi de vous l’expliquer; car vous êtes, je crois, le plus bel exemple d’imperméabilité féminine qui se puisse rencontrer. Nous avions passé ensemble une longue journée qui m’avait paru courte. Nous nous étions bien promis que toutes nos pensées nous seraient communes à l’un et à l’autre, et que nos deux âmes désormais n’en feraient plus qu’une;—un rêve qui n’a rien d’original, après tout, si ce n’est que, rêvé par tous les hommes, il n’a été réalisé par aucun.
Le soir, un peu fatiguée, vous voulûtes vous asseoir devant un café neuf qui formait le coin d’un boulevard neuf, encore tout plein de gravois et montrant déjà glorieusement ses splendeurs inachevées. Le café étincelait. Le gaz lui-même y déployait toute l’ardeur d’un début, et éclairait de toutes ses forces les murs aveuglants de blancheur, les nappes éblouissantes des miroirs, les ors des baguettes et des corniches, les pages aux joues rebondies traînés par les chiens en laisse, les dames riant au faucon perché sur leur poing, les nymphes et les déesses portant sur leur tête des fruits, des pâtés et du gibier, les Hébés et les Ganymèdes présentant à bras tendu la petite amphore à bavaroises ou l’obélisque bicolore des glaces panachées; toute l’histoire et toute la mythologie mises au service de la goinfrerie.
Droit devant nous, sur la chaussée, était planté un brave homme d’une quarantaine d’années, au visage fatigué, à la barbe grisonnante, tenant d’une main un petit garçon et portant sur l’autre bras un petit être trop faible pour marcher. Il remplissait l’office de bonne et faisait prendre à ses enfants l’air du soir. Tous en guenilles. Ces trois visages étaient extraordinairement sérieux, et ces six yeux contemplaient fixement le café nouveau avec une admiration égale, mais nuancée diversement par l’âge.
Les yeux du père disaient: «Que c’est beau! que c’est beau! on dirait que tout l’or du pauvre monde est venu se porter sur ces murs.»—Les yeux du petit garçon: «Que c’est beau! que c’est beau! mais c’est une maison où peuvent seuls entrer les gens qui ne sont pas comme nous.»—Quant aux yeux du plus petit, ils étaient trop fascinés pour exprimer autre chose qu’une joie stupide et profonde.
Les chansonniers disent que le plaisir rend l’âme bonne et amollit le coeur. La chanson avait raison ce soir-là, relativement à moi. Non seulement j’étais attendri par cette famille d’yeux, mais je me sentais un peu honteux de nos verres et de nos carafes, plus grands que notre soif. Je tournais mes regards vers les vôtres, cher amour, pour y lire ma pensée; je plongeais dans vos yeux si beaux et si bizarrement doux, dans vos yeux verts, habités par le Caprice et inspirés par la Lune, quand vous me dites: «Ces gens-là me sont insupportables avec leurs yeux ouverts comme des portes cochères! Ne pourriez-vous pas prier le maître du café de les éloigner d’ici?»
Tant il est difficile de s’entendre, mon cher ange, et tant la pensée est incommunicable, même entre gens qui s’aiment!
